How can you encourage them to open up in bed?
#1 Make sure that your partner is comfortable. Start with a mundane topic, before easing the conversation toward the topic of having $ex. Don’t jump into it by telling your partner what you want immediately. Do it the old fashioned way. Identify the situation. Present the problem. Suggest the solution.
#2 Don’t be aggressive. Don’t use innuendo or seductive lines. Your partner is shy enough as it is. Being aggressive will only make her clam up. The best way to do this is to keep your distance, but remember to use open body language. Face your partner, keep your hands free, and don’t sound too serious or intense.
#3 Be clear about your intentions. Be clear and succinct in what you want, without going all out all at once. Don’t use flowery words. You’re merely presenting a suggestion, not demanding a change in your routine.
#4 Ask her if she feels the same way. Now that you’ve told her what your intentions are, it’s her turn to tell you how she feels. You might not get the answer you want immediately, but you can always try again.
#5 Ask her what she wants. The best way to make a person open up in bed is to ask what they want you to do. Shy people are reluctant to answer questions like these, so try to pose the question as an inquiry and not mandatory dirty talk.
#6 Discuss what’s going to happen. If you and your partner have arrived at an understanding, tell her exactly what’s going to happen. You’re not briefing her for a mission, so treat it like an ordinary conversation. If done correctly, your discussion can actually morph into foreplay.
#7 Talk about having $ex thoroughly. Make sure that you’re not leaving anything out. You don’t have to go at it immediately after your discussion. You can talk about it more, so your partner will feel more comfortable about the idea of opening up in bed.
#8 Observe her behavior. Always keep in mind that your partner should want the same things you do. It’s not enough that you talked about it; you should observe how she’s reacting. Listen to her tone of voice. Check to see if she’s more closed off than she was before. The signs are pretty obvious, as long as you’re really listening to your partner and not just thinking about your own agenda.
#9 Use the 90:10 rule. The 90:10 rule follows the principle of you making the first move, while your partner closes the gap between the two of you. Try it with all the moves you wish to make in bed. Move in for a kiss 90% of the way, and let your partner move the rest of the way in. Try it when you’re about to lick her neck and before you press into her, this helps your partner feel more comfortable about actively performing in bed, as you’re guiding her moves, but allowing her to take charge.
Try something different
The methods we showed you above aren’t 100% accurate or effective. There’s a slim chance that it won’t work for the shy girl that you’re dating.
If this is the case, it probably means that they approach $ex differently, but are just too shy to say so. Here are some backup measures that might do the trick.
#1 Let her take the reins. Just because a person is shy, doesn’t mean that they’re not capable of being dominant. They just need a little push from a person they can trust. Suggest this method to your partner and if her face lights up at the idea, you’ve hit jackpot.
#2 Use toys and props. Most couples use toys and props to spice up their $ex life. The idea of using such things can be quite arousing for some people. If your partner likes the sound of the idea, you’d better find an online catalog—stat.
#3 Don’t have $ex. Hear us out. It’s not what you think. Some people find it hot when their partner withholds $ex. You’re not exactly holding your pen*s hostage, but it’s a chance for you to build some anticipation and longing in your partner. Keep discussing $ex, while not doing it, and your partner might just release all of her pent-up frustration by jumping you right then and there.
Sleeping with a shy girl has a lot of benefits, especially when you’re just starting out. It’s like having a prolonged honeymoon stage. The mystery of the unknown will add a lot of spice to your budding $ex life, especially when you gradually start to discover each other’s intimate tastes.
Once a shy girl opens up to you in bed, the possibilities are endless. It’s definitely worth the wait and the effort you must put in to get her to open up.