As someone who’s lost their person, here’s what I want you to tell yours. Every day, if you can.
1. “Here’s what I really want…”
So many people are romantically crippled by this weird idea that it’s somehow bad to tell people what you want, specifically if the person in question is a man. Um, no. If what you want is to have your hair pulled in bed, or have an exclusive relationship with the guy you’ve been casually seeing for a few weeks, or to just have your partner of ten years take the trash out on a regular basis, say so. Just open your mouth and say it. No, it’s not “too pushy” or “too needy,” and in my experience, men in particular seem to really appreciate being handed a road map to your happiness. Nothing destroys a relationship like unmet expectations that were never verbalized. If the success of a relationship is contingent on your bottling up your feelings and expectations, it’s time to find a new one.
2. “I choose you.”
A relationship is a choice that you make every day. How cool is that, to keep picking each other over and over and over again, even though you have to see each other’s toothpaste spit in the sink and he has definitely sleep farted on your leg? Letting one another know that you’re happy to have each other, and that being together is a choice you have made, is romantic.