So what are some signs you should look out for that indicate this relationship isn’t right for you?
1. You find yourself wondering if you could do better.
We all want to be with the best possible person for us. Do you find yourself comparing other people to your significant other and finding that your partner pales in comparison? That there are people out there who are much more interesting, smarter, funnier and ultimately more enjoyable to be around?
Researchers call these perceptions of other potential partners your quality of alternatives. Psychologists can measure the perceived quality of alternatives by analyzing answers to such statements as “If I weren’t dating my partner, I would do fine. I’d find another appealing person to go out with.”
If you agree with this kind of statement, you have a ton of high-quality alternatives that sound like desirable qualities, because it shows that you’ve got confidence in yourself and are able to attract a good partner. However, if you’re thinking about other partner options, this can undermine your current relationship’s strength and increase the chance of negative behaviors.
The goal is to be with someone who’s so fantastic that you don’t even notice anybody better, because you’re with someone you believe is the best for you and who thinks you’re the best for them.